Being comfortable enough to be yourself…just as you really are…that can sometimes be a challenge. Yet, the more you do this, the more you allow yourself to bring your unique sparkle and shine into the world.
I struggle with being “seen”. Not just in the physical sense–for example: bumping into someone unexpectedly at the grocery store–but, I’m sometimes uncomfortable with being seen in an overall sense. My confidence can be shaky when it’s necessary to step outside of my immediate family and social circle–especially on those bad hair days!
Growing up, I was always shy and mainly an introvert. During my school years, I was happy not to be called on, for the most part—blending peacefully into the background. Yet, there were times of craving to be noticed–to stand out in some way. As one of 4 kids in our family, it wasn’t unusual to want special attention–preferably in a positive way, but, that wasn’t always the case.
Life has provided me with both good and bad opportunities to get myself noticed, as I’m sure is true for most people. While remembering certain memories causes me to smile, there are others that still have a cringe factor. Several years ago, I attended a function and, later in the evening, a few of the people (including myself) had gathered outside, continuing to mingle before the night was over. Several yards away, I could see that a couple of folks were forming a separate group, apparently avoiding the few of us that were first outside—at least, that’s the way it seemed to me. For a variety of reasons, I wasn’t having it. What I did next was very out of character for me.
I began to call to them loudly, “Hey! Come over here!” At the same time, I boldly gestured with my arm, swinging it back and forth with the big, windshield-wiper-wave. Yes. I was that person. Completely unavoidable. And, when the intended group appeared not to notice me, I persistently called to them again, undeterred by their unresponsiveness, continuing to wave with much enthusiasm. Finally, seeing I wasn’t going to give up, they slowly made their way over to us. Sometimes, even at the risk of causing a scene, you can’t allow yourself to remain unseen.
I’ve gained a bit of wisdom over the past few decades, learning some lessons on being visible and getting comfortable in my own skin. For most of us, going through the process of these life lessons is often not pretty, and many times messy, but, that’s OK. Getting practice with it allows one to get more comfortable about making mistakes; only taking what was meant to be learned and moving on. You can positively speak up for yourself, getting out there and risking someone not liking something about the totality of you. What’s great is when you learn to roll with whatever happens…just being yourself.
While we’re able to manage how we judge and receive others, we have no control over how someone is going to judge us; interpret what we’re saying or doing. Because mostly, the stuff that comes up for us is our own critical judgment of ourselves—not so much what someone else is thinking or doing. The stuff that we can let get in the way doesn’t have to be such a big deal—not in the greater picture. You only need to be the best you. At every opportunity, bring on your own sparkle and shine!
Here is one way for you to shine! My friends Jodi Chapman and Dan Teck have opened up registration for their heart-centered writing program. If one of your dreams is to write a book that inspires others, this is definitely the program for you. It includes all of the tools and guidance that you’ll need to make 2019 the year you write, finish, and publish your very own soulful book! They’re offering a special discount right now, too, so it’s a perfect time to sign up! Click here to learn all about it: